Mar 4, 09 | Posted by: Kristin Bencik Boudreau, D.O.
How can I get my child to sleep?
Sleep problems are one of the most common concerns we address in pediatrics. A baby or child who does not sleep makes everyone miserable, including him or herself. Sleep issues begin at an early age, and often are the results of our own good natured intentions. Newborns are not expected to sleep all night, and you should never let a child less than 4 months of age “cry it out.” They are unable to manipulate, so when they cry they really need you. After 4-6 months, though, everything changes. They realize that mommy or daddy aren’t there when they wake up, and if they cry, mommy and daddy come.
The best way to prevent sleep problems is to start a good bedtime routine at a very early age. Put them in PJ’s, snuggle, read a book, do the nighttime feed, BUT DO NOT FEED THEM TO SLEEP. The MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT to sleep training is laying the babies down while still AWAKE, so they can put themselves to sleep. What you are teaching them to do is learn to settle themselves, so that when they wake up in the middle of the night, they will be able to do it without you. If you always hold them and feed them to sleep, how can you expect them to put themselves back to sleep without doing the exact same thing again?
So, how do you train them to sleep when they start crying right after you put them down? There are various methods to do this but they all come down to one thing- the baby has to settle themselves back to sleep. A great book reviewing all the different methods is the AAP’s “Guide to Your Child’s Sleep.” My two favorites are the “cry it out” or Weissbluth method and the Ferber method. The “cry it out” is exactly that- you lay them down awake and let them cry themselves to sleep. This can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. When they awaken in the middle of the night, go in, make sure they are OK, DO NOT PICK THEM UP, leave and let them cry it out again. If you break and go get them after letting them cry, all you have done is reinforced that if they cry enough they get picked up. So, if you and any significant others are not on board with the crying, don’t torture yourself.
The second method is called the Ferber method. With this technique, you lay the baby down awake, then go in at increasing intervals to soothe. For example, you would go in and 5 minutes, then ten, and keep increasing by 5 minute intervals until the baby is asleep. This is a more time consuming, but often gentler way for most parents to let the babies go to sleep.
Both methods work if you are consistent, and it generally takes about a week to complete with each night getting better and better. Obviously, if your baby is sick do NOT try and sleep train. Also, expect you kids to be messed up after any illness or travel, and to have to train again. I will talk more next week about the toddler sleep problems!
3 Responses to “How can I get my child to sleep?”
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March 18th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
I am not willing to let my child cry-it-out so I have not practiced the Weissbluth method nor the Ferber method. I guess I have a different take on how crying it out affects a child (young baby).
Since I am currently looking for a pediatrician, am I to believe that all the doctors in your group feel the same way as you?
Thanks…
March 20th, 2009 at 10:12 am
I would like to clarify on the sleep subject. I NEVER tell my parents they have to sleep train their children, this is only if they are interested in methods to get their children to sleep longer. The methods do work; however, if you are not comfortable in having your child cry it out then they obviously would not work for you. All of us in the practice would tailor our advice based upon an individual patient and families needs.
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I have to say that a consistent bed time routine over the years has been key for our family!
My kids are ages 2 and 5. Dr. Bencik’s advice through the years has been very helpful to me. When the kids were infants, I followed the “cry it out” method and it worked. It only took 2-3 nights to take effect. (Now, if they were sick…that was a different story!) I especially used this method again when we took away the pacifiers around 15 months.
Also with my first child, I made the mistake of letting him snuggle in my bed a few times…only to spend 2-3 nights afterward trying to get him to fall asleep in his crib. Lesson learned!
With my second child, I never let her fall asleep in my bed…and getting her to fall asleep in her crib has never been an issue.
Now every night between 7 and 8 at our house it’s bath time, bed time snack, brush teeth, reading, prayers…and good night. The kids know what to expect, and there’s rarely any arguing – believe it or not. :-)
If the kids cry or are upset late at night now, I take it as a clue that they possibly aren’t feeling well. (For example: fever, teething, possible ear infection, tummy ache) and I go into the room ready with Tylenol or the telephone…so I can call Bayshore Pediatrics about my kid’s fever or flu bug! :-)
Sleep tight! :-)